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Please tell me what you think.

I hung out with My Ex Randy yesterday and he had a lot to tell me. Almost everything he told me about what was going on with him made me worried. Worried for him and worried about him. I know it's not my place at all but we were together for over three years, I helped him pay off his student loans, I helped him get his finances in order. And now I listen to him running through his savings to buy $1000 monitors when he café job that just pays his bills. Once again, I know there really is nothing I can do. I told him that he needs to worry about his retirement, it's not that far away, he's 45. Which brings us to the real thing that is bothering me. I started dating Randy when I was 22 he was 15 years older than me. It did cause some problems in our relationship but was not the main factor in our break up. He has always had friends who were younger than me and it did kind of creep me out that he really didn't have any friends his own age besides his friend Chris.

I was excited to hear he was finally beginning to see someone again. It's been over four years since our break up. But then I started to get a feeling that made me very uneasy. As he was describing his new "boy" I felt the need to ask how old he was. I figured he is young since he is in the Houston Ballet but when he said he turned 20 today I'm sure my face twitched. Randy is 25 years older than him,he's 45. Randy Destroyed me like no one ever has. This boy is too young and too immature to come out of this relationship mentally healthy. It took me a lot of work to get myself where I am today. I often wonder where I would be If I had never met Randy. I would probably be in LA, I wouldn't have a good paying IT job, and I wouldn't always be second guessing myself saying I don't think I can do that.

This boy was so in love with one of his friends that he harassed this friend's girlfriend to the point where the two are no longer friends at all. He is not ready to date a man who is over twice his age. But what can I do? It's not really my business and I don't even know the kid. I just don't know.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 17th, 2003 10:37 pm (UTC)
I think...
... you are probably right in your assessment of the situation, and you are probably also asking for trouble if you say anything to any of the involved parties. If you step into the middle of it then Randy is still, in a twisted sort of way, controlling you.

I imagine that Houston Ballerina Boy would probably create drama with whomever he found available, Randy or no Randy. Leave them to make their own mistakes. You are not responsible for his mess anymore. I know that it sounds heartless, but really, it's not.

And I know it's hard to let go of it too.
Nov. 18th, 2003 12:05 am (UTC)
Re: I think...
I have to agree. It's hard, especially when I think of everything I've been through. I guess the best thing I can do is hope for the best. Thanks for your advice.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )