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What is Love?

Or more realistically, how do you know you are with the right person? Is it comfort, love, agreement, similarity, difference, balance, or even just being accustomed too the other person? I think I have been ruined by good cinema and made skeptical and jaded by life. I want and desire the the unobtainable "right person" who the lead usually get in the movies, but know that Mr. Right does not exist just like happy endings. Sally Probably divorces Harry four years latter and their child develops security issues.

I was telling a friend today that three and seven are very hard numbers. Once you you've been in a relationship for (Three or Seven), weeks \ months \ years you seem to have a difficult period. I think people naturally evaluate things at semi regular intervals. I think this is what the astrology Saturn Return theory is based on.

Sometimes I really wish there was an easier way of weighing decisions and choosing the better one. But that all brings in the idea that things would be better, maybe they would be better in one way but not others, keeping the balance. Like the Jesus Jones song says, " get it wrong, get it right, you can try as hard as you like, there's no such thing in the world as a right decision." But I do defiantly think there are wrong decisions.

As I wander though thought like Ellen DeGeneres, I return. Is there a way to know when you should keep fighting for the relationship, when you would not lose hope? Does fate tell you what to do like in the movies? Should I listen to the words of Cupid on "Charmed" or Judge Milian on "The People's Court?" It seems a bad idea to let bad TV influence me. I guess I will wait and see. Wait for the answer to come to me. Things are not bad, He is an absolutely great guy, I'm just tired, tired of working on our relationship. We seem to wound each other without trying or realizing until it's too late. I wonder if my parents went through this. Maybe I'll ask them.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 2nd, 2003 04:56 pm (UTC)
the joyz of lj
came here through a comment you made to a desi post.

i've gone through so many of these thoughts/emotions myself that reading this post was like reading a post of my own. according to my astrology guru best friend, i'm just come out of my saturn return (i'll be 30 in feb), and i do have to say that things are getting better. i seem to be making more of the right decisions not only about how to treat myself but also how to be close to someone without all of the usual cyclic pain and suffering.

i fully invite you to read my latest (ohnoimdead) which is my own sum-up of my feelings on the relationship experiences i've had and those i've seen others have. maybe you will agree, maybe not.
Jul. 2nd, 2003 04:57 pm (UTC)
sorry, that "(ohnoimdead)" was supposed to be (ohnoimdead). :P
Jul. 3rd, 2003 11:08 am (UTC)
Re: the joyz of lj
I quoted you this morning. Thanks for giving me more to think about. I just need to organize my head and figure a few more things out. Thanks again.
Jul. 3rd, 2003 04:56 pm (UTC)
i thought you just kind of feel it...
Jul. 4th, 2003 12:09 pm (UTC)
You can still be in love with the wrong person. And how do you know if it really even is love? when I was 18 I thought I was in love. I never had such intense feelings for someone. It wasn't love, It was infatuation. I've also been fooled by lust. How do you know when it's really love? And how do you know when you should stay?
Jul. 6th, 2003 05:36 pm (UTC)
i think we make excuses for our feelings. there is an ever-present rule book etched into our subconscious telling us what's right and wrong. it whispers dubious advice saying things like "it's too soon", or "he wouldn't do that if he loved you". it is only when we can consciously put down the rule book and let the intangible enitity of love, no matter how it makes or breaks us, realize what it is we really want.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )