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So very FriendFace

Tom works with a bunch of young'ins just out of high school in a record store so of course he is always on myspace and facebook, sometimes looking to see who is updating instead of working. Silly kids adding their boss to their list of friends. A few weeks ago Tom sent me a relationship request in Facebook, I was hesitant to accept it. I always kept my Facebook antiseptic since it was linked to my name. Potential employers could look me up and decided not to hire me based on my profile. Past friends and acquaintances could find me, then talk trash about me, “Did you know Eric is a big homo now, like it’s a surprise, he was always such a fag, he even moved to Frisco!”

These thoughts used to upset me greatly, I would worry about interacting with people who knew the old me, not the real me. Now, I just don’t care, it makes no sense to keep someone out of my life because I’m scared they will reject me- so I reject them first? Plus now more than ever I should be out, be proud and be an example. So I accepted Tom’s relationship request and Facebook told the world Tom and Eric are now in a relationship... (now?) Then I took it a step further.

I updated my profile with my interests, schools and even my phone number. Then I searched through the list of people who were in my year at high school and added a ton of former friends. Because I have a bit of an evil streak in me I decided to post some of my old high school pictures and upload them and all their horrifying pimply glory. If I was truly evil I would have tagged all the photos, but kindness won and I only tagged a few photos that were actually good pictures. I uploaded about 150 pictures in total. Now I may never know if anyone decideds to unfriends me, if I pissed them off by posting pictures or their fear of homos. (how long until you think unfriend will be put in the dictionary as a verb?) Who knows if I will even notice being unfreinded, I haven't really explored Facebook that much. Is there a way to tell without having to scroll through your list of friends and guess who’s missing? I just added a conservative Mormon who used to be a very close friend, should be interesting to see how she reacts, not that she shouldn’t have known all along.

If I find out someone said I was a big fag in Frisco, I'll remind them homos don't like shortened names, please call it San Francisco and as a big fag I'm offended by the word Frisco.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 10th, 2009 08:22 am (UTC)
I sort of side stepped all of that. When I joined facebook I took on the name Bear Z. Bub.

I would love it if I could have your facebook friendship.
Jun. 10th, 2009 11:31 am (UTC)
Frisco is a suburb of Dallas.

One of my employees friended me on FB - so of course I had to accept it. Then I had to friend a couple of others that he was friends with - so as not to look like I'm playing favorites.

This morning my cousin's daughter added me.

I prefer the anonymity of LJ.
Jun. 10th, 2009 01:07 pm (UTC)
Some years ago a room mate in Eugene who was from the Bay Area informed me about the etiquette regarding the spelling out of San Francisco and I became, I guess, an early adopter. Besides, it's an attractive set of words; they look good together, and you can always tell when you run into someone who's not from there.
Jun. 12th, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)
Bravo for outing yourself and being seen and heard as gay. That's the #1 reason I've accepted a *ton* of friend requests from people in my past, especially in rural TX.

Alas, you may never know if you've been unfriended. As I understand it, when you unfriend on Facebook it only removes the person from your side and leaves a one-way connection from their side, and it never informs them. At least, that's what I was told. I haven't exactly verified. I could just picture doing that... "Excuse me, I unfriended you, and I was just wondering if you could let me know if I still show up in your friend list."
Jun. 12th, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC)
the whole thing about adding people from my past and being afraid of their rejection of who i am now vs. the confused and closeted teenager that i was is certainly an issue that i've considered on facebook as well. i guess where i drew the line was adding parents (no way) or people that i was just marginally friendly with in high school. if i wasn't your friend back then why should i be now and if i was your friend back in high school and you don't like who i've become as an adult than go ahead, unfriend me.

to tell you the truth even after i've friended some of the people i went to highschool with i haven't encouraged contact. it's interesting to see them now and what they've been up to but i don't have much interest in revisiting old memories. if i lost contact with these people i usually let it happen for a specifc reason and i'm reminded of it every time i look at their profile. maybe i'm just a cold, unfeeling, non-nostalgic (is that a word?) person.

now as to older relatives: uncles, aunts, parents, grandparents... if you want to contact me, give me a call. if you don't have my phone number... take a hint!

co-workers? i don't think anyone working in my profession would not hire me because i posted drunk photos of myself at a party. as a matter of fact i think it might work to my advantage...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )