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That's Mrs. Bear to you.

As a girl she was a nerd who wore glasses. She once confided in me that she believed she probably caused her own bad vision. Her mother would turn off the lights in her room at bedtime, but she would pull out her books and read by the dim streetlights. She would stay up late disobeying her mom, rebelling in her own sweet way. I believe she was probably an awkward looking girl during those crucial middle and high school years. She has always kept here sweet, geeky, innocent and slightly mousy manor. But like a swan she became beautiful and only on the periphery realized it. The word I have heard most people use to describe her is precious.

Few would get to see any side of her that wasn't precious because her sweet innocent naivety is completely genuine. The only few to see any other side of her were probably very frightened. They didn't see a thin woman with strawberry blond hair and tiny rimmed glasses, they saw a mother bear protecting her cubs. The few times I saw this side of her, I was scared of her. She grew in size and the volume of her voice went to levels I didn't think possible, especially for my mom. I never saw anyone stand their ground against her when she was in she-hulk mode.

Back in the October 1st earthquake of 1986 or 1987 I had pulled out the cutting board to use the space to pour myself a bowl of cereal. I set the box down, popped off the cap of the milk carton and was about to pour the milk when the bowl of cereal jumped off the cutting board flipped over and fell to the floor. There was a huge bang, much louder than a bowl hitting the floor. I sounded like the every time in the house was dropped from a few feet off the ground. The hanging lamp in the living room was almost touching the ceiling. The walls seemed to be boeing and cabinet doors flew open. In a panic I started to run. not thinking which way was smart. I ran into the laundry room, the opposite direction of the front door. I tried to open the door to go through the laundry room to a room that would lead to the back door but the door wouldn't open. I spun around confused and overwhelmed, I didn't know what was going on or what to do so I just covered my head and crouched on the floor. That's when my mom came in looking to see why I hadn't followed the rest of the family out the front door. By the way the Chihuahua was the first one out of the house. My mom grabbed ahold of my arm yanked me up and ran back through the exploding kitchen, around the dining room of falling chairs and out the front door. I think my feet only touched the ground three times because she was holding me up the whole way. Did I mention I was in middle school at this time.

I love my mom. I take it as a huge compliment whenever someone says I'm even the slightest bit like her. I haven't found what will make me go mama bear yet but I do see lots of other similarities.

My mom has been really sick for weeks now and hasn't been able to shake this horrible flu that everyone seems to have... including me. My dad who has a huge phobia of hospitals called me a few hours ago to tell me he put her in the hospital today. My brother is going to LA tomorrow. I wish I could go too, but being sick with this horrible flu/cold travel would be bad for so many reasons. It would be bad for the people on the plane, my family, my mom, and even me. What if I infected my mom with something different even though it sounds the same.

My dental runs out at the end of the month and I have an appointment to get replacement fillings and other work done on wednesday. I also have a job interview a three hours after my dentist appointment which already had me sweating over drooling during the interview. Now I am worried about getting better in time for everything as well as keeping my appointments, and most importantly my Mom.

Hopefully now that I've gotten all these spastic thoughts out of my head I can finally get some sleep which I desperately need to get better... so I can do... something.



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 24th, 2009 09:58 am (UTC)
I'll be keeping you and your mom in my thoughts. {{{BIG HUGS}}}
Feb. 24th, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
I hope your mom gets better. But, no - don't visit until you are both well.
Feb. 24th, 2009 01:55 pm (UTC)
You have such a knack for painting a picture.

All will be well, Monkey, in spite of how things appear to be trending. Both you and your mom are in my thoughts.
I talked to my mom on Sunday. I'm pretty sure she's the reason my father is still alive at 98; she's a strong woman. Your mother sounds like one too, and she has plenty of reasons to stick around.
Your plate has been loaded down with so much of late, and there may be more to come but everything equals out eventually, but you know that.
Feb. 24th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Good luck with you on Wednesday! Hope you feel better before then and that the dentist and interview goes well... you'll be in my thoughts.

And even more importantly... good luck to your mom as well. She'll be in my thoughts too and hope she recovers quickly dude.
Feb. 24th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, Christ, Monkey. It's just been raining shit on you, hasn't it?

Sleep, silly fella. If there's anything I can do for you, let me know.
Feb. 24th, 2009 06:27 pm (UTC)
I hope that your Mom gets better and you, too. Sending you out a little healing energy. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you job interview, drooling or not you will be fabulous!
Feb. 24th, 2009 06:30 pm (UTC)
((hugs)) bud. I'll add you and your mom to my prayers.

Feb. 25th, 2009 11:51 am (UTC)
Huge healing hugs to you and to your Mother too. Thinking of you both today, sending lots of love.
She's a fighter, she'll be out of hospital in no time.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )