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There are times when I want to fight. There are times when I want people to see that I am a lot tougher than I look. There are times when I fantasize about being jumped... And holding my own. Tonight was one of those times. I was out drinking with grubbybastard and as I was walking home in my drunken state, my imagination began to run wild. I was jumped, and I kicked some serious ass! If I could do this in reality, I am not completely certain, but I do have confidence in myself if I am pushed to that point. I’ve never been pushed there, but secretly I fanaticize about it so I can prove to myself that all the worries people have for me are unfounded.

I have a few advantages most people don’t have. I was a gymnast when I was kid, I know how to fall and not get hurt. I took Akido, I know how to turn my opponents inertia against him. I have a high tolerance for pain, and I have been in lots of fights... I just haven’t fought back. But put into a situation where my attacker wasn’t someone I knew... I would kick some ass. If I was truly scared for my life the poor bastard would end up blind, that is for sure.

I guess I’ve never been in a fight were I felt I should fight back, partially due to my pacifist nature and partially because most of my fights were with my brother and if I hurt him... It would come back at me times 100, plus my mom would be pissed if I popped my brother's eyes out like olives at Thanksgiving. Good thing the whole masturbation= blindness + hairy palms thing was a total lie or my mom would have two blind hairy monster kids.... as would almost every mom the world over. That’s all beside the point- which I seem to have lost.

I guess I’m a little surprised at how many fights I get into in my imagination. I’m surprised at how I can crave violence when I become drunk. I know I must be drunk if I have this much confidence... And physical confidence at that.

Drunken and time for sleep, time for hibernation my violent aggressive little monster inside my drunken head. Sometimes I’m so Irish it hurts... Or at least it will in the morning.

Drunk and horny, maybe I should become a sailor... heh, sailor moon! What were those animators thinking... about some gay sailor ass. Hot! Damn I am drunk. i wonder if this will make any sense to anyone (including me) in the morning.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 6th, 2005 08:48 am (UTC)
Aug. 6th, 2005 08:51 am (UTC)
priceless. staying up late playing video games on a work night was totally worth it just to read this post...
Aug. 6th, 2005 08:52 am (UTC)
Monkey! Knife! Fight!
Aug. 6th, 2005 12:18 pm (UTC)
Made sense to me at 5:18 in the morning and i haven't been drinking. Even the spelling is good.
Aug. 6th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
Makes sense to me... I can even share the sentiment.I'd love to beat the hell out of some nasty homophobe one night. I hate the fact that people get beaten and mugged all the time in New York and I just don't want to be one of those people. I want to be the one that beats his attacker to a bloody pulp.

And don't gymnasts rule?
Aug. 6th, 2005 03:18 pm (UTC)
I just don't picture this in you. But I'm sure that if you were pushed far enough you could do some damage. I certainly wouldn't want to be the one on the receiving end of your rage. But I don't like to think of you like that. I like to think of you as the happy person in most of your photos. :-)

My Mother always said that about me. It took a lot to get me pissed but once there look out! Beat the crap out of my step dad when I was 17 for pulling my hair. But that was from years of being tormented by him for being fat.

I hope your waking this morning in a happy mood.


Aug. 6th, 2005 04:11 pm (UTC)
Nasty, grrrrrl, dance, dance, dance.

P.S. You had me at gay sailor ass. *rawr*
Aug. 6th, 2005 04:43 pm (UTC)
When walking the streets at night I like to imagine myself being jumped by vampires à la Buffy and staking every single one of them, after a bit of witty banter and impressive gymnastics of course.
Aug. 6th, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
I have very similar fantasies. I have much cause for anger deep down. I suspect you may be in a similar headspace.
Aug. 6th, 2005 06:04 pm (UTC)
Monkey Style
Sounds like an Agent Orange viewing is required…
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )