There are times when I want to fight. There are times when I want people to see that I am a lot tougher than I look. There are times when I fantasize about being jumped... And holding my own. Tonight was one of those times. I was out drinking with grubbybastard and as I was walking home in my drunken state, my imagination began to run wild. I was jumped, and I kicked some serious ass! If I could do this in reality, I am not completely certain, but I do have confidence in myself if I am pushed to that point. I’ve never been pushed there, but secretly I fanaticize about it so I can prove to myself that all the worries people have for me are unfounded.

I have a few advantages most people don’t have. I was a gymnast when I was kid, I know how to fall and not get hurt. I took Akido, I know how to turn my opponents inertia against him. I have a high tolerance for pain, and I have been in lots of fights... I just haven’t fought back. But put into a situation where my attacker wasn’t someone I knew... I would kick some ass. If I was truly scared for my life the poor bastard would end up blind, that is for sure.

I guess I’ve never been in a fight were I felt I should fight back, partially due to my pacifist nature and partially because most of my fights were with my brother and if I hurt him... It would come back at me times 100, plus my mom would be pissed if I popped my brother's eyes out like olives at Thanksgiving. Good thing the whole masturbation= blindness + hairy palms thing was a total lie or my mom would have two blind hairy monster kids.... as would almost every mom the world over. That’s all beside the point- which I seem to have lost.

I guess I’m a little surprised at how many fights I get into in my imagination. I’m surprised at how I can crave violence when I become drunk. I know I must be drunk if I have this much confidence... And physical confidence at that.

Drunken and time for sleep, time for hibernation my violent aggressive little monster inside my drunken head. Sometimes I’m so Irish it hurts... Or at least it will in the morning.

Drunk and horny, maybe I should become a sailor... heh, sailor moon! What were those animators thinking... about some gay sailor ass. Hot! Damn I am drunk. i wonder if this will make any sense to anyone (including me) in the morning.