Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! (monkeyx3) wrote,
Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!

Wedding crash

I feel like a drama queen. I am freaked out. I feel like if I didn’t watch out people would see the deer in the headlights look on my face. I just booked my ticket to Germany for Oktoberfest but that isn’t what has me freaked out.

Last night I was helping Malakai do a wipe and clean install on his PowerBook when my phone rang. I saw the 714 phone number and for some reason thought it was Phinny despite the fact that he hasn’t had a 714 number in at least five years. The voice that came over seemed familiar and was asking me if I knew who it was. I asked for him to keep talking... But he didn’t. The voice was familiar but wasn’t a voice I felt I held close to my heart. I sensed it was someone I probably wasn’t very close to... So I guessed Chris Patcheco. I was wrong on both assumptions. He claimed he was Chris’ nemesis. Something about the way he said one of the words made it all click... I knew exactly who it was. It was Mike, I wasn’t prepared, I was going to have a heart attack. Why was the guy who I lost my virginity with calling me?

I haven’t seen him in at least six years, I think the last time I spoke to him was on the phone three years ago and I was the one who called him because I was worried about him. I would bet the last time he called me was 10 years ago. For some reason I thought we would eventually see each other at a party and be awkward around each other.

To sum up my history with Mike into one paragraph (so you don’t have to go through all other posts I have made) He was one of my best friend in high school until I came out to him, we slept together that night, once he came, he wanted nothing to do with me. He made me promise to never tell anyone. So I didn’t tell anyone for a long time. I fought to become his friend again, but we would never be the friends we were. I eventually became better friends with his new girlfriend. When they got married I was the maid or honor. I was on her side not his. I was also the photographer and DJ at their wedding. After I moved to San Francisco I got very upset with Mike because he wouldn’t drive 4 blocks to see me after I drove 400 miles. I had finally had enough and wasn’t going to put any more effort into the relationship. He and his wife got a divorce and I got back into contact with her again. I was happy with this.

So why was he calling me? Did he come across my journal and want to yell at me, maybe apologize? Was something wrong? No he told me he was getting married, and he wanted me to be his wedding photographer again.

Wedding photography is stressful. You have to capture those fleeting moment so they won’t be lost forever. It stressful especially if you are friends with the couple. I don’t know if I could do it this time. I haven’t seen him since before his divorce. At best things would be awkward. I know I don’t want to do it. I have so many reasons. He is going to call me next week to see what I have decided, I doubt I will change my mind. I'm just surprised how freaked out I have felt ever since the phone call.

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane - Hopes And Fears
Tags: mike-my first
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