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Sometimes I feel Heartless

I don't like to dwell on the negative, I like to see things as being positive, having positive effects. The Titanic sinks, people die, laws are created to ensure if a boat is sinking and other ships are near, someone will hear the SOS from the radio operator. A giant boom happens as the demand for radio operators skyrockets. So many people are learning radio technology and making it better and better until finally the Television is created. Would we have TV today if the Titanic didn't sink? What great things didn't happen because those people died? Is TV worth those deaths? I really don't know.

I don't know what good things will come of Oscar's death, Maybe just my realization of how important it is to give those I love whatever I can, who know when they will be taken away. I don't like to think of Oscar as being gone, just in a more fashionable city that I can't visit him in for hopefully a long time. I don't want to be sad anymore. I want to be happy. It's hard because I also want to be there for Kim and she is still very deep in a sad sad hole. Tom is also and sometimes I forget. It's a lot harder for him because Evie was his Best Friend, and he still isn't over his mothers death. I feel like I should be somber but I hate to be somber. I like to smile and say, 'oh, do you remember that, It was so fun, I loved it!"