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Questions answered- ewe_2- piece of my heart

Is there a person who still owns a tiny piece of your heart?

Most the people who have entered my life still own a tiny piece of my heart. I am still friends with most of my Exes. I think people enter you life for a reason and when they leave doesn’t mean you have to forget about them. Even my ex Randy who is hated by so many of my friends, I still care about him. We spent a long time together and while it was fucked up, a lot of good came out of the relationship if I look for it. He got me a job and helped push me into an IT career that has kept me financially stable.

What I think you are really asking is whom does my heart still ache for. Most of my relationships I feel had run their course and have closure. But there was one that wounded me. It ended while I was still flying high. I was happier than I had ever been and it ended and I came crashing down. I didn’t see if coming and wasn’t even prepared to fight. I was just in shock, it was over before I even realized what was happening. He ended it because he was scared. We were getting too involved and yet we were both on paths leading in different directions. I had my life in San Francisco and he was a rising Fashion Designer in LA who was heading for NYC, Paris or London. The 400 miles was easy to overcome but across the nation wasn’t going to work let alone across the planet. I was happy living in my oblivious bubble and just wanted to enjoy the ride... When it just ended. I will always love Jared. He is a wonderful man. He opened my eyes to see the world and when I was with him I liked who I was. He will always be important to me.

I’ve done a few posts about Jared but there are two that really explain a lot. When michaelnolan asked when I first felt love and when I received a letter from Jared.




Can You Feel It - The Jacksons - Triumph

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
ewe_2
Apr. 8th, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC)
You got it right. Is there one person that you still care for that troubles you. That if this person were to walk through your door right now, that still makes you week in the knees.

D

ewe_2
Apr. 8th, 2005 08:46 pm (UTC)
Hurt so bad.
I guess I should have read the links before posting the previous.

I had the same type of thing happen but it was I who had to end it. Because it was destroying me. I loved Richard with all my heart. I would have moved the Earth for him. Too bad he didn't realize it before it was too late. Before he hurt me to the point that no matter how much I loved him I could never survive being hurt that badly again. So I had to walk away to save myself.

He still has a piece and he always will. If he were to walk through my door it would take every ounce of my being to hold myself back. But I would hold back. Because I would never ever go through the hurt and turmoil he put me through.

D



monkeyx3
Apr. 10th, 2005 09:39 am (UTC)
Re: Hurt so bad.
*Hugs* What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

I feel lame for taking this long to respond. Sorry about that.

ewe_2
Apr. 11th, 2005 12:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Hurt so bad.
Not to worry. I don't keep track or time. :-) Plus I have been reading your stories that your doing for the people that asked. I told Allan about the vagina story and we both had quite the laugh on the way home Friday night.

Thanks for sharing them.

:-)

D
romeohotel
Apr. 9th, 2005 01:55 am (UTC)
It ended while I was still flying high. I was happier than I had ever been and it ended and I came crashing down. I didn’t see if coming and wasn’t even prepared to fight. I was just in shock, it was over before I even realized what was happening.

That's exacly what happened with Mike. One minute, he just culdn't get enough of me, and the next he was dumping me. And yeah, what you describe is exactly how i feel, and I guess that's why him coming back and talking to me has shaken me up as badly as it has.

*hugs* Thanks :-)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )