Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! (monkeyx3) wrote,
Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!

I really have to get off the phone and pose naked with men Aunt Roro!

Saturday I was running through my checklist of things I needed to do before I went to Toby’s studio to pose naked. Lift some weights so as to at least fluff up my muscles, check. Masturbate so that one muscle doesn’t decide to flex while I am laying on two naked men, check. I still need to shower and somehow get my hair to do something. I have been wearing a hat everyday for two months. My hair is out of control. I was jumping in the shower when I got a call from Michael, I had offered to give him a ride to Toby’s studio and he wanted to know what time I was leaving. I tell him I was planning on leaving in about thirty minutes and he agreed meet me in thirty minutes and I headed back to the shower when my phone rang again. Tom answered it and handed it to me.

It was my dad. I told him I was running late, a fact he either didn’t hear of just decided to ignore. He went on about how I needed to fix his aunt Roro’s computer. She was getting advertisements on her desktop. I told him it sounded like she installed some software and it was asking her to pay for it. I restated that I was running late and I had to jump in the shower. He said I should call her Sunday and walk her thought fixing it. Not my idea of fun on my day off. I was finally able to get into the shower. I heard Tom’s phone ring as I was getting out, I was happy it wasn’t my phone. Tom took down a phone number and repeated it back hung up and started to laugh.

When I came out of the bathroom Tom handed me a piece of junk mail a number written on it. “Call your Aunt Roro, your dad left the number.” I put the number down and started to fume as I tried to get my hair to stay out of my eyes. Don’t they understand late? None of them have a job, why does everything have to be now? It’s not even a problem that is stopping her or a virus. It’s got to just be an annoying pop up add or something. After I got my hair to at least stay out of my eyes I grabbed the junk mail and called Aunt Roro. There was no answer so I left a message. Two seconds later I got a call from Michael, he was running late as well. I was relieved he was running late as well and wouldn’t be waiting on me, I was even more relieved it wasn’t a 90 year old woman wanting help with her computer. I hung up and immediately my phone rang again with the dreaded 626 area code.

After a few seconds I knew my dad was feeding me false information. He had told me there was advertisements showing up on her desktop but when my Aunt Roro described it she said her “I call it my homepage you father calls it the desktop.” Blind leading the blind. But My 90 year old Aunt knew more than my dad. When she said she keeps seeing advertisements for pods I knew what happened. I told her Apple had changed their start page to be apple rather than Netscape and we could change it if she wanted. I couldn’t remember how to do it in OS 9 internet explorer so I told her I would call her Monday after I figured it out.

As I hung up the doorbell rang, I sighed and started to run out the door thinking, “there was never even a problem to fix... Now lets go get naked!

My Funny Valentine (Inspired by Ella Fitzgerald) - Rufus Wainwright - Sweetheart: Love Songs

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