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The pained smile of work to be done.

So much has been going on and yet I haven't gotten a chance to organize my thoughts enough to put them to pixels. I had an amazing Time with Dana. I miss her so much. I had a few moments of sad blue alone coldness. I am finally beginning to build up a new group of real life friends.

Who I am going to become.
I am strong. I have won my battles with fear and I am confident. I don't rely on others to make choices for me. I am not afraid of going out and having fun or building up expectations of others. I don't stress about disappointing others. I am happy within myself. I go out and do things by myself and make new friends wherever I go. I have parties that people always want to attend. I have let go of the feelings of not having enough time. The guilt over things I am unable to do are no longer a problem. My smile is always sincere and never a mask to hide pain. I feel free to share any of my thoughts with those close to me. I learn new things daily and take classes for fun. I create art even if it is just for myself. I am making my own music video for a song I like, using places that I love in San Francisco as the backdrop. I am the person I want to be.

One More Time - French Kicks - The Trial of the Century


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)
your icon is hot!
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:10 pm (UTC)
Feb. 1st, 2005 09:50 pm (UTC)
wow... that is so beautiful.. .very nice! i am proud of you.

just remember... don't have high expectations of others, only good intentions! that way, you can never feel let down...

oh, and read "fearless living" and "fearless loving" by rhonda britten... she's my psychologist!!

love ya!

Feb. 2nd, 2005 04:13 am (UTC)
I love the way your spirit shines through your words.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )