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A very near and dear friend is going through medical difficulties, and just had an absolutely horrible experience with a “yucky procedure.” I told her I would share a funny story with her about a Yucky procedure I had, The more I contemplated it the more I realized the she short funny part which was closely link with a not so funny part that seems to me is a lot more close to what she went through. I’m glad she is a strong person and has been taking it all in stride.

When I was in 9th grade I finally had to go to a real Doctor. My mother felt that since I was now in High School I was too old to see a pediatrician. Of course at 14 I was still very confused about my sexuality. If that isn’t a sentence that causes you to worry where this story is going... Yeah.
My Dr was a nice looking older Indian man, I really don’t remember much about him or what he looked like. Most of the memories have been striped away by time, but I remember his name. He insisted that I get a full physical even the reason for my visit didn’t necessitate one. I had one previous experience with the turn your head and cough exam. While it was embarrassing, it was over quickly and I had no questions about the professionalism of it. However when this Dr did his examination, he was very thorough, he spent a good ten minutes inspecting my 14 year old penis. The examination took too long and he was more or less playing with my dick rather than examining it. Of course if you play with a penis for 10 minutes especially a young boy’s, it’s going to start to grow whether they want it to or not. This was the case. He did not stop, or say something to me like, “Oh, this is normal, don’t worry about it.” so after it was all over I felt like I was used in a way, but I also felt like I must have wanted it since I did get excited. While I didn’t tall my mom what happened I did tell her I never wanted to see him again.
The Dr. I had for the next several years was one of my Mom’s friends who was also my Mom and Dad’s Doctor. He never checked under my hood but we did have an interaction that pretty much put me off seeing him unless I really, really had to. He came out and asked me if I was gay. I have been taught to be completely honest with your Doctor and not withholding any information. So I told I was in fact, gay. My doctor was probably the second people I came out to. He then asked me if I had been tested for AIDS, He didn’t ask if I had been tested for HIV. I responded that I hadn’t, and was about to continue when the Doctor went on a rampage about responsibility and this that and the other. What he didn’t wait to hear was that I was gay and I hadn’t been tested for HIV (not AIDS) because I hadn’t had sex yet. It is possible to know you are gay before you have sex. He became so upset with me and worked up that when he asked me if I wanted the test and I said no, he left without giving me a chance to explain why. There was a bit of fear he would out me to my parents and claim it was fear for my own safety, but as far as I know he never did.
When I moved to San Francisco it was time to see a new Doctor. To say I was apprehensive is an understatement. I just didn’t go to a doctor until I couldn’t get away with it anymore. It was shortly after my break up with Randy when I was already full of fear and just coming out of my Agoraphobic like state when my need to see a doctor were no longer avoidable. I picked a Doctor’s name from a list that my insurance covered at the closest hospital. I was extremely relieved when I met my new doctor. He was gay and actually listened to what I had to say. He insisted that I get the healthcare a gay man needs, he made me update my Hepatitis shots, but there were other things he said I needed checked out. My heart started to race and old fears buried deep flooded back. He took his time and explained things thoroughly before he began, he could clearly see the concern I was trying to hide. His finger slipped into my ass and I held my breath. He told me things all seemed fine and probably some other stuff but it all went right out the other ear as not important unless it required a response. He asked me to flip over so he could get a look at the front. This is where things get a little vague. Shortly after I flipped over he noticed that I was white as a sheet. Are you OK he had asked me right before I lost strength and sort of fell over. I had been so freaked out I had forgotten to breath. He ran got the smelling salts and had me bring my legs up to rush the blood to my head.
I had to come clean and explain everything to the Dr. he gave me a reassuring hug and told me I would always be safe in his office and he would go a slow as I needed. He now has my complete trust and I no longer need the smelling salts for my annual physical. I do wonder however, if my doctor ever talks about having a patient pretty much naked on his table with his legs up having smelling salts waved under his nose. I’m sure that was a pretty sight.

Send Me An Angel - Real Life - Modern Rock - Lost Hits Of The Mid '80s (Disc 2)


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 18th, 2004 04:10 am (UTC)
thank you. even though it's not really funny in a "ha ha" sort of way, it's the type of thing i needed to read right now...

Dec. 18th, 2004 11:47 am (UTC)
The episode with the doctor who played with your dick for 10 minutes sounds like sexual abuse to me. How much could there be to examine? (not trying to be insulting ;;))
Dec. 18th, 2004 03:59 pm (UTC)
Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but that first doctor should be struck off. What he did sounds like sexual abuse. If he had done a quick examination and then explained that reactions like that are normal in 14-year olds, that would be one thing. But no matter what is going on, it doesn't take that long to examine someone.

I'm serious: if you knew the guy's name, I would be nagging you to take this further. That was ten minutes, and he left you afraid of a basic medical procedure.

There are words for people like that, but I'm not going to lower myself to typing them.

The second sounds like a pompous ass.

It is very cool that you now have a doctor who is understanding, caring, and a professional. I have had mixed luck with doctors over the years, and I know that a good doctor is a rare gem.
Dec. 18th, 2004 04:04 pm (UTC)
By the way, I dreamed about you last night. Odd.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )