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Slip me a mickey?

Been having a good time with my cousin Deric, but i had a really scary moment about an hour ago. I was at my friend Joe's (skibumca Ex boyfriend) place having a good ol' time talking with someone about how he thought I looked like Fidel because of my hat and military jacket, when all of a sudden i felt very unwell. I had been drinking but only two drinks, and the last one i had finished over half an hour before. I excused myself and began to head to the bathroom, there was no one waiting but my eye widened in horror as i saw the sliver of light coming from the bathroom slowly close and someone prepared to take care of business. I hate throwing up but even more i hate anyone to know that I am doing it or have to see/ clean up. I hadn't gone over my limit, could someone have slipped me something?

I stood outside the bathroom panicking about what to do. Do I puke in my hat? do I try to make it out the front door? But I just stood there. that is until I became so dizzy i fell down, nearly falling down the stairwell, my hat rolling down to the landing. I Iaid there like an ODing junkie for a minute with a million questions running through my mind... I think I mumbled, "what the fuck is wrong with me?"

I have only once felt this out of control of my own body and that was when i smoked pot for the first time and didn't know that 8 bong hits wasn't what beginners with no tolerance were supposed to do. Fear was building inside me, what the fuck did someone put in my drink, or was it the cigarette i smoked... my old coworker Dav used to lace his with heroin, but he was crazy, no one would give someone something like that without warning them, right? I began to think about what it looked like with me laying part way down the stairs, no one was coming to help, i still had time to save face if i could pull it together.

Yesterday I saw a man laying in the street under two cars screaming "Swampy" over and over while people walked by, no body helping him. I wanted to get out of the car, cross the street and at least drag him to the sidewalk but i was in the back seat and people kept walking close to him, almost teasing the idea they were going to help him. Was I going to ruin Joe's birthday by being Swampy boy, I need to pull it together. I took a deep breath and sat up, nobody had noticed a thing. I grabbed my hat tore off my jacket because i felt incredibly hot and walked into one of Joe's roommate's rooms a laid down on their bed, hoping someone would bring me some water and that i wouldn't have to barf in my hat to keep from soiling their bed. Eventually the sick feeling left me and i felt fine, almost sober.

i felt well enough to head to the bathroom to make sure i was indeed alright. It was time for me to go. I don't know what happened to me at the party, could it have been a panic attack? i've never had one and i didn't feel threatened or anything. Two drinks is not enough to cause something like this and would last more than the 15 minutes event.

I found skibumca and told him I needed to go because I didn't feel well and had fallen down for unknown reasons, said my goodbyes to everyone else including the birthday boy and walked home. What the hell happened to me?


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 26th, 2004 11:47 pm (UTC)
I never puked. I just really felt like I was going to but I wanted to didn't want to puke all over my friends house. after laying down for a while I started to feel better. I'm was completely fine by the time I finished my journal entry last night. The whole thing was very weird. Thank you for the hugs!
Hugs back!
Sep. 26th, 2004 09:33 am (UTC)
hmmm..odd..could've been a panic attack..i've had those strike me at moments where i wasn't previously feelings anxiety...mabye yer just coming down with a flu or somethin...could you be pregnant?
i jest..whatever it was...i'm glad it passed
Sep. 26th, 2004 11:51 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, I did miss my last period! yeah, I think it might have been a panic attack because it was over so quickly. Thank you!
Sep. 26th, 2004 10:46 am (UTC)
that sounds like a very frightening experience. i'm glad you made it home ok. i suggest going to your doctor, describing what happened and asking what it could have been.
Sep. 26th, 2004 11:53 pm (UTC)
I really think it must have been some sort of panic attack, I rally don't want to go to the Dr. and would feel kind of lame, but I'll think about it.
Sep. 27th, 2004 12:47 am (UTC)
better to feel lame for going to your doctor for no reason then to find out later you could have done something if you'd only gone to the doctor sooner. but then again, maybe i'm looking at this from a canadian perspective. our medical system up here encourages people to go to their doctor for every little thing, possilby to the point of making us all hypochondriacs.
Sep. 26th, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC)
sounds like someone slipped you ketamine... if it were rufees or heroin, it would have lasted a lot longer. that sucks! i hope you are feeing better. i wanted to see you today. waah! i love you, please take care of yourself. xo
Sep. 26th, 2004 11:55 pm (UTC)
I doubt it was drugs, I really don't know. It was good to see you today! XOXOXO
Sep. 26th, 2004 06:04 pm (UTC)
maybe it was GHB that someone slipped into your drink? i dunno. but please keep us informed!

hope you are feeling better...

Sep. 26th, 2004 11:57 pm (UTC)
I felt great today. the strange thing was that it passed so quickly, I would think that if it was drugs it would last longer. Thank you my cute coffee boy!
Sep. 27th, 2004 04:56 pm (UTC)
hah! no no no... you are WAYYY cuter! ;-D

hrm. i dunno. if it happens again, though, go see a doctor!

you have the coolest hair on the planet. there. that good enough for today's ego stroking?

Sep. 28th, 2004 12:03 pm (UTC)
Ha ha! Don't stoke the ego, I never know how to react! I will definitely see a Dr. if anything like that happens again.
Sep. 27th, 2004 02:01 am (UTC)
glad you're feeling better
Sorry I haven't commented in so long! Sorry to hear about that episode, but glad you're feeling better. That comparison to the Swampy guy really stuck with me. I hate how when you're feeling sick, social situations compound it by making you feel awkward/rude/ a party-pooper as well. Usually some people will help out, but almost everyone else just sort of stares or tries to avoid you, sort of the way everyone on the street was with Swampy.

I'm guilty of it as well - you get used to walking, everyone becoming invisible around you. The other day I was snapped out of it when someone asked me to help him lift a homeless drunk guy out of the intersection where he'd falled down. I was so embarrassed because I'd walked past him without even noticing or looking.

Today something happened which made me realise we can do tiny things that affirm each other's humanity that can lift a person's whole day. On the other hand, we can also contribute to the steady erosion of each other through ignorance and casual indifference.

Yeah it's that kind of night.

Anyway, happy Monday!

Sep. 28th, 2004 04:17 pm (UTC)
Re: glad you're feeling better
Thank you! We still need to get together now that you are in the city. I work south of Market near SBC (Pacbell) Park, so lunch would probably be difficult.
Oct. 8th, 2004 02:35 pm (UTC)
Actually, I don't think it does sound like a panic attack. As a teacher, I have to be able to deal with those, and your description sounds wrong. It almost sounds like something hit you in the head, or you had a swelling in your inner ear.

Good that it passed without serious incident.
Oct. 11th, 2004 03:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm very glad it was so temporary... and that it hasn't happened again. The inner ear theory is interesting but would that cause me to see stars? I really think it was lack of oxygen or something.
Oct. 14th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC)
I'd bet Panic attack
I am prone to those and they just happen and in various intensities. Mine started when I quit smoking. Because of them I had to sell my motorcycle as I would be fine riding for a while and then an attach would hit. Even effects me riding a bike. (?) Who can figure. The first time I experienced an attack I was at our neighbors house having a cocktail before going to a murder/mystery dinner at a Beardleys Castle. What set if off was the hostess said "Kathy and Bill decided to join us". I didn't know these people and I was stuck in the chair by a force pushing down on my chest. I couldn't breath. Felt faint. It was awful.
Hopefully you won't experience these often.

I also had some one lace my drink with something and had the same feeling you described. But I couldn't move then either. Even when they tried to sexually seduce me. But if you knew the people you were with I doubt it. If they did do it to you that would be pretty lame on their part.

I like the way you write and what you write about. Hope you don't mind me reading your journal. You seem like a nice guy and not strangely odd like some I've read.

Oct. 18th, 2004 03:40 pm (UTC)
Re: I'd bet Panic attack
I think it was a panic attack as well. It definitely scared the crap out of me (not literally thank god!) My friend Lanny had social anxiety and would have panic attacks at parties but was prescribed Colonapin (sp?), he would take one whenever the had an attack would quickly calm down. He no longer get the attacks and talks about Colonapin as a miracle drug.

Thank you for your wonderful compliments. I try to keep my journal as real and uncensored as possible. It seems like some people try to show only one aspect of their personality and they end up presenting themselves as one dimensional oddities. I’m sure the fact that most LJers are still teens also makes for very odd journals.
Oct. 19th, 2004 06:56 am (UTC)
Re: I'd bet Panic attack
Yours are real and I enjoy them much. I've been on so many meds.I can no longer keep track. Colonipan I have to take 3 times a day. Nortriptyline to help me sleep at night. But I've been on all the anti-depressants there are. Non seem to do it for long. AH, a day at a time.

If you ever see a 49 year old man wigging out somewhere please say hi to me! LOL

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )