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oh brother!

I was a bit shocked by my brother on the cruise, it's hard for him to shock me, I've seen him do far to many stupid things. What shocked me was his support of Bush. He kept saying lets not talk politics and then continue to speak about how the Republicans are great. my response to him was, "you are too poor and too white trash to be republican. That's when he ended the conversation by saying, "Look, you should just be happy convicted felons can't vote!"

I laughed my ass off. I pretty sure at this point he can vote again, but I'm not about to bring that up, it's like giving a gun to a child! I know it sounds horrible because everybody should vote. I just don't feel the need to encourage him.

my brother was fairly well behaved on the trip. He was fall down drunk the whole time and fell over furniture on a few occasions. He tried to get Tom's sister (who just had knee surgery) to dance by pulling her out of her chair and kissing her hand for ten minutes. He hit on and was shot down by several dozens of girls. Nothing phased him.

The first three nights were the most painful for me though. whenever he get really drunk around me be feels guilty. It normally starts with him asking me if he made me gay by beating me up all the time or because he called me fag over a million times. He never remembers that we already have had this conversation at least fifteen times. Then the conversation turns to how bad he feels for the times he beat the crap out of me. "At least I only beat you up like five or six times." Sometimes I will correct him. he seems to not remember most of the more brutal incidences we have shared. He seems to want me to say that is was OK, it wasn't that bad. But it was, and it's not OK. I have forgiven him and moved on, but i am not about to let him think that the beating he would dish out have been forgotten.

I will always remember being shot in the back with a pellet gun (I still have the scar) and my brother chasing me around so he could beat me into not telling. i had locked myself in my parents bathroom and he got a screwdriver and pried the door of it's hinges. i went running but it didn't take long for him to catch me, throw me to the ground, flip a marble table on top of me before he began jumping on it and me. It did not get me to keep quiet about being shot, but that might have been because the whole house was torn apart when my parents came home.

So what I said to him on each of those three night he brought this up was, "I am strong, now I can take care of myself. I forgive you. Please don't bring this up again." It not the kind of things i want to think about when I'm on vacation and yet each night he would bring it up. One night he even argued whether or not a particular incident happened, when I offered to send him a copy of the X-ray of my fractured sternum (i don't really have it but could probably get it) he finally let the subject drop. My brother always has been a misguided child wielding too much power and self importance. I love my brother, he really isn't a bad person, but even he has to admit that he is really annoying. But i haven't seem my brother sober for years. It scares me to death that he is a safety inspector.

Sing for Absolution - Muse - Absolution



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 24th, 2004 05:46 pm (UTC)
oh man...you poor thing...i think your approach to him makes sense...it's too bad he's still so self destructive, but i'm glad you aren't
Oct. 14th, 2004 08:35 am (UTC)
I can;t believe it.
How the hell you ever survived is beyond me.

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )