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I posted a response to someone in gay_sex_tips and thought I might as well post it here, although I am a little embarrassed by it, it really is TMI, but I figure what the hell, i can only think of one person on my friends list I would rather not read this, but it's not that big of a deal.

Here goes

< embarrassment>
When I was 13 my father decided to give me the sex talk. I had already had sex ed in school. My dad had already drank a bit of liquid courage to give him the ability to give me the talk. For some strange reason “the Talk” took place while my dad was taking a bath. Talk about uncomfortable, the last thing you want to talk about when you dad is naked is sex.
He stumbled through the things he felt he needed to say, both of us were uncomfortable. I stopped him, saying, I already learned all of this in sex ed. That he didn’t need to tell me anymore. He said alright sighed a bit of relief and asked me if I had any question, to which I said quickly and emphatically, “NO!” I was already making my escape, when my dad stopped me to tell me one last thing. “Don’t play with yourself.”
But of course, I already had, and I liked it. I never really thought it was wrong but since my dad said so, it must be. Of course when I look back at what he said and how he said it, he was joking- he must have already known I was doing it, but I didn’t get the joke. But I also didn’t stop masturbating. What I did was I had decided that it was ok as long as I didn’t cum. Then when I grew older I realized that it was silly and there was nothing wrong with masturbating and would finish. But when I finally had a chance with another person, it just wouldn’t happen no matter how hard I tried or how frustrated the guys I was with would get.
< /embarrassment>
Not too many years ago I was telling this story the story of the ”Sex Talk” to my old roommate when he said, “Your dad was joking right?” and this was when I finally realized he was joking and this might have been the reason why I couldn’t cum when I was with other people, and guess what, the very next time I was with a guy, I came and it was wonderful. It may sound silly but it was just that little click and everything finally worked right for the first time.

Everything Counts - Depeche Mode - Just Say Yes, Vol. 3: Just Say Mao


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 23rd, 2004 04:38 pm (UTC)
Awwww...That Was Sweet...now lets come together....
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 23rd, 2004 06:30 pm (UTC)
Actually your post about your "Seasonal Affective Hyperactivity" (that's what I think you should call it) what pushed me to post this in my journal... I just felt a bit weird to have one of my coworkers read this, but she cool so, I figured that she won't tease me to much.
Jul. 23rd, 2004 05:55 pm (UTC)
I was lucky. My dad didn't drink -- so I never got "the talk". Everything I know about masturbation I learned at Boy Scout summer camp. And I turned out just fine.
It's funny that you should bring this up -- just today I got one of those annoying "RECOGNIZE ANY OF THESE NAMES?" emails from Classmates.com -- and there he was, my old J.O. buddy, Skipper, from Camp Possum Kingdom. I think I'll email him tonight.
Jul. 23rd, 2004 06:34 pm (UTC)
Skipper? Ok, now that I got that out of the way... Hot! I wonder if you will get a response, It seems lately I haven't gotten a response from anyone I have reached out to. Why didn't I have this kind of experience with the Boy Scouts?
Jul. 23rd, 2004 05:55 pm (UTC)
i'd give you an honest heartfelt response that included very private information about my own sexual experiences but unfortunately it would go far beyond the TMI point. let's just say anxiety has been a problem effecting my own *ahem* "ability to reach satisfaction." i solved my own problem after a bit of cognitive reframing and a slight shift in sexual activities and practices. of course i had the help of a patient and perpetually horny boyfriend. HURRAY FOR SEX FIEND BOYFRIENDS!
Jul. 24th, 2004 01:49 am (UTC)
Of course now I am extremely intrigued. Will I maybe hear the TMI someday? I have to agree - hurray for sex fiend boyfreinds.
Jul. 26th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC)
Either I'm having deja vu or you've posted about this before, because it sounded really familiar.
Jul. 26th, 2004 10:27 am (UTC)
I think I might have posted about this in gaysextips before, but I couldn't remember and I thought It would be nice to keep a copy of it so I could just link to it in the future if it seemed relevant again... Hey did you ever get my card?
Jul. 26th, 2004 10:37 am (UTC)
Hey, I totally did, but then I had to move, and I'd packed away all my stencil gear. I still have your card (I put it in the "very important, do not pack away" pile), and your (blank) t-shirt, I just haven't been able to stencil it yet.

I'm in Singapore, btw.
Jul. 26th, 2004 11:31 am (UTC)
Oh, good, I was just worried it ha gotten lost. I'm not in any hurry, so no worries.

I wasn't sure if you were back yet. You aren't posting much about being over there. Are you not going out and doing fun things besides see or missing cool films and eating yummy food? That pork sounds amazing.
Dec. 29th, 2004 09:08 pm (UTC)
That's an amazing problem to those of us (okay, maybe just me) who feel awkward because I feel like I come too quickly. In recent encounters, I took to watching the clock, and I, uh, do last awhile. I think I'm projecting earlier experiences onto present behavior.

I suspect you're right, that it was your early habit of taking it all but the final step led you to develop some phenomenal (if not always deliberate) endurance, but I'm not the one living in your head.
Dec. 30th, 2004 07:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you for all you comments. You know I've been reading a book grubbybastard has lent me that says that if you take three deep slow relaxing breaths when you are close, you will give yourself more time. They claim that it is impossible to climax if you are relaxed and breathing is the best way to relax. I've yet to try it... or need to, but it's good information to know.
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:47 pm (UTC)
Sounds kind of like "The Multi-orgasmic Male". I have a copy of that one. First noticed the book several years back, when the guy my little sister was subletting from left it on his bookshelf over the summer. Heh. =)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )