?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Rejection

It's been over a month and a half. Years ago I had become... basically agoraphobic. Patrick pulled me out of the environment feeding the fears and found kindred soul on the internet. I would read his journal and maybe send him an email every couple of weeks. His fears had a much larger hold on him than mine. As he worked through his fears so did I. His online name was MadMac, that is how I came to know him from our common love of Apple. Seeing as I was working for the company that did Apple's print production, I would send him rare apple memorabilia I knew he would appreciate. It was very much a one sided relationship though, I grew to know him while he only had a vague idea of me. After a while I got out more and kept up with him less. Then his site was gone. It was bought by an online store or maybe he was forced offline by them for having a similar name.

About a month and a half ago I did a quick search for him on the internet and found a current address for him after I verified it was him I sent him an email asking him how he was doing, how far had he gotten with his Agoraphobia, a few other questions as well as a link to my livejournal. I told him how I found his journal helpful, it made me feel less alone. I would really like to be his friend, in a strange way i already did. So i thought I would give him a chance to get to know me. I never got a response.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
ballistik
Oct. 21st, 2003 04:21 am (UTC)
He sounds like a bloody arsehole to me... Why do we always want what is unobtainable? Why must we do that to ourselves? I do it all the time, or rather, I become angry at those I know I cannot have...

*B*
monkeyx3
Oct. 21st, 2003 07:38 pm (UTC)
He really is a nice guy, I think... I'm guessing I just freaked him out that I knew so much about him I was able to find him when he changed his email address. The thing is, I only wanted to be his friend and hear he was doing well. I think of him in much the same way you would think of a old friend who moved away and disappeared from your life. It hurts that he didn't respond, but I still hope he is doing well.
(Deleted comment)
monkeyx3
Oct. 21st, 2003 07:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Response
It's definitely not that, he responded to my first email asking if I had gotten the right person. I hope he has gotten over his agoraphobia. last I read he was doing really well and even went to a gay bar in the next town... but that was two years ago.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )