?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Ex-Luck

I received an email from my friend Jeannie on Thursday last week, it was a reply to an email I sent her over a year ago. The email made me extremely angry, not at her, I was pissed with my Ex Randy. It took Jeannie a year to bring herself to write the heart wrenching email.

“I've given up. I have such mixed emotions now. Sadness, anger, you name it. Thanks for being there for me.”

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about luck. Luck of the Irish in particular. I have a lot of Irish luck. For those of you who don’t know what Luck of the Irish is, here is a great example et_blackbird once used. “Oh look at that, I’ve stepped in dog shit, I’m sure lucky I’m not wearing my good shoes.”

If you think you are lucky then no matter what happens the outcome will be lucky.

I am working on story for a contest and am using this idea of perceived luck as the base for the story. It’s gotten me thinking about what my luckiest day was. Almost everything I think of is a mixture of good and bad. The day I didn’t get shot by the drunk man with the gun. The day I went home with the sweet and wonderful Dave instead of the incredibly cute but evil Brian... who would talk people into having unprotected sex or flat out trick them even though he knew he was positive.

But because of the email from Jeannie the first thing that jumps to my mind is the day I wrote Randy off. I had found out my credit card had been used to buy a bunch of Bart tickets and told Randy about it. We had been broken up for a couple of weeks and were having great breakup sex and enjoying each others company more. When I told Randy, his response was, “This is so typical of you!” It was the sentence that upset me more than any other spoken to me. How dare he say something like that when I was the one who paid off his student loans, I paid off his credit cards. I have been nothing but financially responsible. This incident was the only time I had ever had to dispute a charge. I’ve never lost a card. It pissed me off so much I didn’t speak to him for years afterwards. It was a very lucky day. It allowed me to completely sever my relationship with Randy without guilt. He set me free with that once sentence.

So I challenge you all, what was your luckiest day?

If I don't get lucky baby, oh remember you don't get lucky too.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
ewe_2
Jan. 10th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
My luckiest day was finding my first lover's release papers from a mental institute in Georgia on a closet shelf.

A lot of craziness was going on with him that was starting to scare me. When I pulled a box off the closet shelf as I was packing things as I was leaving. This envelope floated down to the floor. Not recognizing it I picked it up and read it. This made me just leave.

He stalked me for months. Until this one day. I had left a place I was temporarily staying to go to work. In another town. I was brushing the snow off of the car when all of a sudden this voice came from behind. He scared the living shit out of me. I went ballistic and started running at him with the snow brush up in the air. Chasing him down the street. He finally realized I would have killed him had I got a hold of him.

I didn't date anyone for quite a while after that.

I'd forgotten this and I'm posting this in my LJ.

You always have a way of jogging my memory with the things you write.

:

D
caliburnpdx
Jan. 10th, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC)
Can't Pick Just One, Sorry!
There is no one luckiest thing, just a plethora of lucky (accidental) events (not in chronological order, or any kind of order, or any kind of completeness):

1) I stepped off the curb into the path of an oncoming (silent) MAX train in downtown Portland a couple of years ago, and sensed its approach just in time to stop dead in my tracks as it rushed by inches from my nose. I don't consider that the lucky part; the lucky part was that it so happens that MAX trains have no protrusions or extensions (like handles or mirrors). If they did one of them would have decapitated me, or gutted me, as the rushing train was literally at my toe-tips.

2) The day I happened to be at my desk when the AIDS Project Los Angeles started calling around for a temporary "buddy" for one of their clients, as his regular volunteer was taking a three-week vacation. Because of that lucky call I got to meet Barry, become his friend, and take care of him until he died in my arms on April 1st, 1986.

3) The day I was riding my motorcycle and had a head-on collision with a VW Bug that suddenly turned left in front of me. I wasn't wearing a helmet, and was wearing GLASS spectacles, which shattered on my face. I did sustain a serious leg injury and multiple head lacerations, but amazingly, though my cycle was completely totaled and the VW had a deep dent in it, I broke no bones. Not even a finger.

4) The day happened to be available when my (former high school) teacher friend was hosting a literary party for the UCLA Alumni Association, and as a result I got to chauffeur, have a private conversation with (we discussed his gay short story "The Better Part of Wisdom" from Long After Midnight) have dinner with, go to a private lecture by, and become long-time correspondent of Ray Bradbury.

5) And while I'm name dropping, the day I got a call from a (total stranger) GSF member to come over to his place in downtown L.A. for dinner and sex. The sex wasn't all that interesting, but the guy just happened to be a personal friend of Liberace's, which resulted in an invitation to a pool party and barbeque at Lee's Hollywood Hills home.

6) The day I got a job at BMI because it resulted in three all-expenses paid week-long trips to New York City -- someplace I probably never would have seen otherwise. (I don't get out much. )

7) The day I met Len, the only gay man who has ever treated me as I think a lover should be treated. Our relationship only lasted a few years, but there was never anything like it before, and never anything since, and probably never will be again.

I'll shut up now.




bradlyb71
Jan. 10th, 2006 09:51 pm (UTC)
Re: Can't Pick Just One, Sorry!
I just wanted to say that your page dedicated to Barry is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. Souls like yours are ones we should all cherish and appreciate. Peace to you..
_kaiser_
Jan. 10th, 2006 08:41 pm (UTC)
i'm one of those odd people that believes that everyday is a lucky day and that every second of my life is guided by some unseen force. i don't mean god/allah/buddha/whatever when i say this, but rather some sort of unnameable/unseen force that can't be bargained or reasoned with. i purposely don't buy lottery tickets or gamble because i don't want to unnecessarily or flippantly use up the good luck that i have. i'm of the mind that good luck is not something that you ask for or even recognize but rather random circumstances that happen in a person's life. unfortunately good luck may not even be recognized for being what it is until years later. i can't answer your question as to what was the luckiest day of my life because i consider every day the luckiest day of my life. it may sound like a cop out answer but really it's how i live my life. and i'm not even irish...
caliburnpdx
Jan. 10th, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
Totally agree.
I think everyone is "lucky" a thousand times a week, but they just don't think of it that way. You could leave the house now, or five minutes later, and the difference could be the difference between life and death. You could turn this way or that, pick up the phone or not, meet someone by chance or miss the opportunity, any one of hundreds of things can happen or be chosen at any time and, if they turn out favorably, be considered "lucky."
cornekopia
Jan. 10th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
traveling isn't deadly, but don't try at home
I've got two for you. Interesting if slightly morbid topic.

1) I took a year off of college. One part-time job I came up with was to do portraits of people's houses. Bicycling home from a job I got hit by a van making a hazardous left turn. We sued the company, and I used the money to fund my first year at a better college that fall.

2) After years of celibacy, I suddenly decided I was open to seeing people again. Over the course of two years I had 4 boyfriends, the last of whom I'm still with seven years later. Each one kind of led to the next, but nothing would have happened had I not let some luck in.
spider__woman
Jan. 10th, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
the day my son was born.
_kaiser_
Jan. 11th, 2006 06:28 am (UTC)
i've met the bugger and i agree, she's pretty damn lucky.
spider__woman
Jan. 11th, 2006 06:55 am (UTC)
ha ha! thanks! I think he's rather fond of you too, though he'll never show it.
et_blackbird
Jan. 10th, 2006 10:01 pm (UTC)
I wish Jeannie well. It's so sad that she is going through those negative, difficult emotions and finally having to come to resignation... thankfully, she has you as someone supportive in her life: you're so strong and so good to your friends.

Luck: some people believe in it, some people don't. I guess if we say we believe in luck, then most people think about bad luck as well, or they get angry because they can't see the luck in their lives. Personally, I believe in luck, fortune, things happening and us always being able to get something out of them, provided we keep our eyes open and remember to fight and stand tall.

I consider myself lucky, despite everything that happened to me.

As for my luckiest day...
singleentendre
Jan. 10th, 2006 10:17 pm (UTC)
the incredibly cute but evil Brian... who would talk people into having unprotected sex or flat out trick them even though he knew he was positive.

Please tell me Brian met with an unfortunate fate. I'd like something in a "jail" or "full frontal collision" or "shock from hundreds of bee stings."
monkeyx3
Jan. 11th, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
Brain went to jail several times for drugs. Was kicked out of his house because he couldn't pay the rent. his life just continued to become a bigger and bigger mess. He felt the world owed him something and his life was unfair, that's probably the only thing we could both agree on. of course I thought the world was being too kind to him. He disappeared a few years back, it's probably best I never hear about any of the horrible things he would do.
sisyphus238
Jan. 11th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC)
I checked into the gym the other day. They have a barcode reader that brings up your info.
The lady asked me if I spell my name B R I A N because the name the computer showed was Brain. Something that happens quite often really. The best being a letter I once got that was addressed to Brain Flyod.
et_blackbird
Jan. 10th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC)
It's hard to pick one luckiest day, but every day I can think of involves someone special; I have so many wonderful friends who I'd do anything for, and who are always there for me. I can't just pick one and say that is the luckiest day because that's the best person.

There's the day I met you, and knew I'd found a very special and wonderful friend with whom I'd get to discover and experience so much.

There's the day I met Christian (puffchrissy), without whom I'd never have found Live Journal, and so never have met you, or anyone else from here.

If I hadn't met the people I met in Wroclaw and Austin and Tampa and San Francisco, I would never have gotten to the stage I'm at now, where I know my past and my problems, and have been offered solutions.

There's the day I met Marcin, with whom I had a wonderful relationship, despite all the difficulties that relationships involve.

There's the day I met Steve and Alex, who I also wouldn't have met without Live Journal, and without whom I'd be lost here.

But all of these are lucky in good times: I met these people because I wanted to meet them and took the chance to. What about Irish luck?

I wouldn't have met puffchrissy if I hadn't read "Box Office Poison", which I only read because I'd read an article about it in "Wizard", which I'd only bought because I was really sick and lonely and wanted to read a magazine in English and that was one of the few that was available in Poland at the time, and none of the others were interesting. That was a lucky day too. Being so miserable and sick made me do something I'd never normally do - I couldn't afford that magazine, but I bought it, and it led to great things.

There was the day the best neurologist I'd ever met told me he was leaving the country and that I'd have to find someone else; I was really down about that, and felt very lost for a while: it's so hard to find a good doctor who I can really work with. Then I realized that there might be an opportunity to really find something new: that feeling galvanized me into looking further afield and finding the doctors I know now, who all helped me enormously.

Once, years ago, I was in an accident when I was away, and I couldn't travel home. I had to stay in a foreign city, but two friends of mine were there, and we got to spend the evening together, and we talked and it was a beautiful unrepeatable evening. The accident kept me there.

There's so much luck to be found in my life, but I will always say I am luckiest for my friends and m'anam chara.
d2leddy
Jan. 10th, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
This is a great post!

what was your luckiest day?

The day I was diagnosed with a terminal liver disease (12 May 1989) because on that day I began to learn to live.

The second luckiest day was when the experimental drug I took at NIH killed most of us in the pilot study. Of the few survivors, I was the only one who cleared the disease and then became immune to it (sometime in 1994).
sisyphus238
Jan. 11th, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
Not sure if it was my luckiest but it sure felt like it at the time. It was the day in 1968 when I had to go to Portland, Maine for my draft physical. My heart was pounding all day because I was sure I'd be drafted even though I knew they didn't take homosexuals.
I checked the box that asked if I was gay. Then they asked if I'd meant to check it.
"yes", I said.
"We don't consider mutual masturbation to be evidence of being homosexual."
"Well, what do you consider evidence?"
"Oral or anal sex."
"I've done both of those."
Diagonally across my file, in fairly large letters, they wrote"Overt Homosexual".
What I felt was lucky though was that when they took my pulse it was 128 bpm.
They took it again a little later and it hadn't settled down.
Even if I hadn't said I was gay I probably would have been rejected for my tachycardia.
As I wasn't completely out for some time after that day, telling people of my high heart rate
was how I managed to explain my 4F status.
When I left the recruiting center that day I was sooo relieved.
romeohotel
Jan. 11th, 2006 04:40 am (UTC)
Eric, I've been trying to answer this post for much of the day.

I'm not really sure how to answer it, because how much of things like that are "being lucky" and "how much making lemonade out of lemons?"

I guess the luckiest thing I've done was meet Mike. Even though it ended horribly - he dumped me to be "straight" and I was drunk or comatose for the next month or so - it also led to a lot of open doors. Like taking the job with FHWA, deciding what to specialize in, deciding to get my Masters, deciding I wanted to spend my life in public service.

So I guess meeting him was the luckiest thing to happen to me.
traylordean
Jan. 12th, 2006 01:50 am (UTC)
Oh tell me...what we gonna do?
Life continues to amaze me.

When luck has personified herself in my life?

Many times. But the most interesting ones would have to be:

1. The Russian police letting me go.
2. ....

That's it.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )