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The Day Justice came into the world.

The day after my birthday I awoke from a dream that was so vivid I wrote this story before I got out of bed. I've never been able to write non-biographical stories... I think because I try to make them too long and get frustrated trying to work out the middle of the story. The dream was violent and complete. I decided to write the story from another character's viewpoint, in my dream I was Sofia's boyfriend.

When I was a little girl there was a mob boss who hung out at the restaurant next store, he constantly made my mother cry. My mother was the best, she always told me I could be anything I wanted when I grew up.

One day there was a knock at the door and my little brother ran past me to get the door, grandma was watching us today. I followed behind him with thoughts of grandma and the presents she always brought when she visited. When Aaron answered the door, it wasn't Grandma who greeted him, it was Louie Bianchi.

"Hey there little man, can you get Uncle Louie some cookies? My new son wants a cookie," said the man with a false smile.

I guess Louie Bianchi's daughter Sophia had a serious new boyfriend and Louie wanted to make sure this new guy knew that he was just a kid and not to mess with a mobster's daughter.

I screamed at my brother, "Don't give him any. He's bad and he makes mom cry, he doesn't deserve our cookies." He turned his attention from my brother to me and spoke the only word he had ever spoken to me, while he stepped through the door, "Deserve?" He closed the door over, turned back to my little brother and shot him right in the head. Blood was on my face but I was too in shock to notice, Louie turned to me, sneered at me then gave me a wink and walked back out the door. He left the door open so Sophia's boyfriend could see the blood on my 8 year old face.

"Sorry son, I guess no cookie for you." I still stood there in the door way in shock, Sofia's boyfriend wore the same look on his face as mine. He quickly tried to shake it off, but you could tell he was terrified. "No maybe before you ask me something like that," Louie whispered "you should make sure you aren't going to upset the parents first."

Louie placed the gun he had used to kill my brother on the hood of the car next to him. Sophia's boyfriend's widened eyes followed the gun and his lower lips trembled. Louie walked towards the man who backed away a little before thinking better of it. He looked Louie straight in the eyes.

"Now Michael, what's wrong?" Louie asked while he straightened the boyfriend's collar " "You don't have anything to worry about. You just have to follow the rules. And the only rule is don't upset me."

My mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up. I grew up that day, I was eight but I grew up. I walked right out the door, grabbed the gun from the hood, cocked it, pulled the trigger back and shot Louie right in the head. I decided that day I was going to change my name. I was going to change my name to Justice.


Kiss Them For Me - Siouxsie & the Banshees - Twice Upon A Time: The Singles

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
dizzyspells
Apr. 26th, 2005 06:04 am (UTC)
Congrats!!!
You've got some talent! I loved it!
cheerfulchaotic
Apr. 26th, 2005 05:31 pm (UTC)
That is a good scene. The tone and quality of the writing is very compelling.
ewe_2
Apr. 26th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC)
Your amazing. I think you should be writing more.

:-)

D
monkeyx3
Apr. 26th, 2005 08:42 pm (UTC)
Kirsten asked Tom where he wanted to be in five years and he didn't really have an answer. I thought to myself, I would like to be a writer or designer of some sort. I don't want my future to be in support. It's tiring, so much to keep up with and the constantly being the one people go to when things have gone completely wrong. I've been doing it for 8 years and it's worn me out. I need to start doing something new. Up until recently I never would have thought writer could even be a possibility for me... it's foreign territory for me.
ewe_2
Apr. 26th, 2005 08:55 pm (UTC)
But you write so well and in a way that everyone can understand what your saying. Your stories seem so real compared to some.

I would test the waters before committing to it.

*hugs* bud.

:-)

D
sisyphus238
Apr. 27th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
I think you've got whatever it takes. It's obvious that you're a keen observer and I'd be surprised if you didn't succeed in anything you put half a mind to but what I'd really like to know is who is that cat you're sleeping on?
et_blackbird
May. 15th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
You have a great grasp of the details of action and description. That is a strong base from which to grow as a writer. The characters move with the action, minute details come to our attention as we read. Your exposition of background, thought and past are also strongly developed: years of blogging have done that for you.

This is fiction that shows great potential. You've come a long way.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )