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The sub-dermal lump on my Perineum.

One morning last week either Friday or Saturday I woke up with my hand between my legs, my finger was rubbing a lump on my perineum. Hmm, that's odd, I thought as I got up and got ready for the day. Later that night I noticed it was still there and actually began to wonder what it was, but I figured I just hadn't noticed it before since it was so small. Tom probably had one since it's where a lot of stuff is connected. When I checked with Tom, he didn't have one and that when I noticed it felt sort of sore.

Yesterday I decided to make a Dr's appointment and was happy I could make one for today, the same day as my allergy shots. As soon as I made the appointment fear started to well up. Thoughts of cancer and what sort of operations they might do, damage that might be done to an area of my body I find so much joy in using. Thoughts of how they would take a biopsy from something that is located so close to a part of me that engorges! I had worked myself up so much today that several people asked me if I was OK. My stomach was churning and no matter what was going on my mind was thinking about biopsy and removal of this cancerous flesh from my body.

When I was finally sitting on the paper lined table, I thought I was going to explode from the anticipation. I grabbed the book lent to me by grubbybastard and started to try to read. Luckily my Dr. came in after just a few seconds and knowing me and my history started to talk to me about non-medical stuff just to relax my mind. after a few minutes he worked he way up to the reason for my visit and doing the actual exam as well as a complete physical.

He started to tell me that the lump was a Febollisk (sp?)... like I would know what that was, then continued to explain what it was but was using words that didn't really make me feel all that comfortable, like "blood stone." Finally he said the words I wanted to hear, "It's benign. There is nothing to worry about." I guess it's just some sort of broken vein that has formed a lump and there is nothing to worry about.

When I left the office with the look of relief on my face, I called Tom to tell him what the Dr. had said. Of course Tom's first reaction was to say, "wait, you have a feeble what?"
Tom started to laugh, so I told him with annoyance in my voice, "it's fatal". Since I am such a bad liar Tom just laughed and said, "no you're not, take it back, your fine."

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Fluffy Cloud Version) - Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here - Trance Remixes - Limited Edition

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
gloeden
Jan. 13th, 2005 03:29 am (UTC)
I don't know you but I'm happy for you.
Broken vein, huh?
Sounds like your perineum had a minor stroke.
Now think of all the fun you'll have re-training it.
sisyphus238
Jan. 13th, 2005 03:40 am (UTC)
Glad to hear all as well. Don't know if I've mentioned it before but Doctors run in my family. My paternal grandfather, my father and my brother were/are MDs. I almost constantly am asking my brother about various conditions I may or may not have. A lot of them are skin conditions of one form or another. I think I might have even had something similar to what you have. Isn't it odd how doctors have a name for all of these things; like isn't there anything new under the sun? And they come out of their mouths so easily; "Oh, that's just a such-n-such". Drives me batty.
knowyermonkey
Jan. 13th, 2005 05:10 am (UTC)
glad it's just feeble and all is ok
;)
i miss yer cute face
trevorizing
Jan. 13th, 2005 06:15 am (UTC)
Glad to hear that everything's gunna remain intact, and that there will be no spelunking in the nether regions by anyone not wanted. It's funny how we can work ourselves up into a froth about things like that, eh?

I hate it when I do it, I feel like such a hypochondriac when I go to the doctor and they're all, "Well, that's just a blahblahblah."
bete_lumineux
Jan. 13th, 2005 08:50 am (UTC)
I could just envision you semi-glaring while trying to tell Tom it was fatal... made me laugh.

I'm very happy to hear things are okie dokie. So what's the plan, will the lump dissipate/be absorbed by the body eventually?
(Deleted comment)
ewe_2
Jan. 13th, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC)
Been there too.
I have the same thing. Well the last time I felt it. But I worked myself up into a frenzy because a friend at work is dealing with prostrate cancer.

Of course it got sore because I kept fiddling with it wondering what it was.

Glad your ok monkey.

;-)

D
et_blackbird
Jan. 13th, 2005 06:39 pm (UTC)
Glad to hear it's nothing dangerous, and, as sixpack6_t9 so brilliantly put it, nothing requiring spellunking in your nether regions.

Our bodies can give us so many different kinds of scare. "Always try not to draw conclusions about what is going on in your body until you have more information" is great advice, but tought to follow.

Go do something nice to unwind.
q_knox
Jan. 14th, 2005 08:12 am (UTC)
I’m glad it’s not serious. Tom seems like such a delightful guy.
bradly71
Jan. 14th, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC)
Wow... glad to hear you're fine!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )