I wish I had more time to update with all the stuff going on. I had fun at my cousin's wedding in Long Beach this past weekend. My dad is bull headed and I wanted to smack him. He didn't want to go to dinner with his sister because he was thought she would get drunk and belligerent. I really wanted to point out that if I thought that way, They would never see me and my brother together... ever. I know my brother is going to be drunk and belligerent, he always is. He coined a new to me term on sunday, "fagot kick" (verb) to kick as if you were trying to fling poo from your shoes. At 10 am on Saturday we found out a close family friend had died and so he coaxed me to raise a coors light with him and my dad in remembrance. the next morning he asked, "Who died yesterday?" All value of his inappropriate early morning gesture seemed to seep away.

I also enjoyed the Yaz concert last night. I swear something has happened to Americans that causes them to feel death creep over them if they don't talk to someone every few seconds. Honey listen to Alison and absorb her talent in silence, you won't cease to exist if those around you forget you are there. Trust me.

The Doctor Who finale were amazing, I was worried that part two would disappoint me but I loved it!

Sometimes I react awkwardly when people praise my photography. I take a lot of photos and I rarely censor them. I have a slight temptation to only share the best photos but I like different photos for odd reasons. Of course my favorites are rarely the ones other people like. I've had a few people drop hints that I need to use the flash correctly. I hate flash. It flattens and renders the subject frozen and dead. I prefer my subjects to be a little creepy or obstructed. My photos are almost never reproducible. they are happy accidents. I was taught that a good photographer will get one great photo out of a 36 exposure roll and a really great photographer will sill only get three. The key to photography is to take tons of photo. I do take a lot.

So I give you some interesting photos of interesting people. I went to Aunt Charlie's Hot Boxxx Girls show this last weekend with Tom, Geroge, Michelle mrhavisham, traylordean, pixelstud and his new interest James.

I have been glued to Big Brother UK and had just finished watching the housemates karaoke marathon where four of them sang Total eclipse of the heart for 24 hour on repeat. So when I heard the song starting during Miss Vicki's performance I switched my camera to movie. Now when it starts out, Miss Vicki is just a gathering of sparkles, as the song goes on she becomes more solid and animated. She really is an amazing performer.

Today is a beautiful day, the weather here in San Francisco is perfect. So for lunch I wandered down to the stadium to watch a little of the Giants game Versus Detroit. There a truly wonderful thing that happens on days like this. Hot men not only apear more often but there is a higher chance that they will take off their shirts. I only stayed for one inning but it was a beautiful game. Score 5-1 Detroit when I left. Who cares about the game when there’s so much candy to look at.

As far as that 10 anonymous meme is concerned I’m going to do a it differently. I am going to make 10 statements and at least one will apply to everyone on my flist.

1. I bet your great in bed.
2. You insight is amazing, thank you.
3. You drink too much.
4. Life isn’t as bad as you think it is and I wish you didn’t think so badly of yourself.
5. Webster's needs to contact you so they can use your photo for the definition of Comment Whore.
6. Despite your posts, I have no idea who you are, put the meme down and tell me about your life.
7. I’m really surprised we haven’t met yet. I kind of feel guilty about it.
8. You are so... not a real person... But I love you anyway!
9. I miss you. Hugs.
10. I’m envious of your talent. No seriously I’m talking about your talent not your.... Talent.

Now if one of these doesn't apply to you... Maybe you should put your drink down and stop beating yourself up... You might be better in bed than you think.

"I am a bit suspicions that he was replaced by an alien clone in February."

In other news it looks like I will only have to pay the IRS $400. I like the %90 off amount.

Things went well last night. I was surprised at how fun it was. I made George drive me home because we worked our way through 3 bottles of wine. I think my new boss really enjoyed himself.

Below is a picture of the house with the new paint job. I love our house. I have to say my mom would never paint anything this yellow. She's obsessed with muted pale yellows.

I think I'm crazy. My funk is gone. I'll probably post about it in a few weeks (no promises), I like to have distance between me and drama before expose it to the outside world. I feel if you post about things that are happening people will give advice and sometimes it's better to work things out yourself. I hope that makes sense.

Guano update:
She didn't show up all week but left notes and is supposedly in the hospital but won't tell anyone why... she has her boyfriend leave voicemails at 5 in the morning with no details. The cynic in me thinks she's gone on a bender with her boyfriend because her boss is on vacation. It all just seems fishy.

What a great podast. If you like covers check it out. tonight is boys night and I think I'm going to try that new pomegranate vodka. Yum!

It’s hot in San Francisco. I’m wearing shorts, not that anyone can tell with all the hair on my legs. I had to move a chest of drawers to get the shorts last night. I couldn’t handle pants in this heat anymore. We had no windows on the front of the house yesterday so all the heat of the day filled the house. My fingers are crossed that our hot window contractor will be finished installing the new windows today. I’m tired of not being able to easily get to things because all the furniture in the house is pushed away from the windows.

When I came home yesterday I couldn't find John. I called for him but he didn't respond or come out. I was panicked that he had gotten out. I eventually found him hiding in the George's shower. Poor hot pussy.

Last night was successful. Tom and I were successful, for the most part, with hooking John Steed (our ancient black kitty) up to his IV. We were terrified that we were going to mess things up and have an angry bleeding cat running around the house with his claws out and selene solution sprayed all over the house. As it turns out he was unhappy about it but it didn't hurt him and he got pastrami after so he was pretty happy about the transaction.

I got my first parking ticket of the year... I'm pretty happy about it. I don't pay for parking at work, it's cost between $15 and $35 to park in the area depending on if there is a Giants game. So when I think that I just got a ticket for $35... I see it as paying for Game day parking one day so far this year. I think it's crazy that it's cheeper to risk a ticket than pay for parking on a game day.

And because it's important you know this... I hate the new Madonna album but I love this remix. It's crazy how much a remix can change a song. I find the original to be torturous and I just can't get into any song on the album. But this remix is in my top 10 songs right now. Love it!

Fridays in Portland are slow. The urgency and insanity of the week has melted away and the office is almost empty today. I like Portland. I like the people here. I really enjoy getting to hang out with sisyphus238. I would have probably been bored or gotten into trouble if he didn't keep me company.

On my first trip to Portland I did minimal research. I found out the gay area wasn't far from my work or hotel, only a few blocks. I went the wrong direction. An hour later I saw bars and restaurants with the tell-tale flag. I wandered up the street making mental notes about each place, summing up an imagination of what was inside. I didn't feel like walking in and out of every place with a flag. finally i decided to go into the only place that had windows I could see through, Scandals. I walked in and up to the bar and ordered a crown and 7. I sat at a small table where I had a good vantage of the crowd.

I was surprised by the amount of people out drinking and parting on a tuesday night. I was delighted by the mixture of people. You couldn't say it was any types bar. it had bears, twinks, leather guys, latin, black, white... young and old. I observed, I ordered another drink. eventually a very sexy gentleman came over to talk to me. He told me all about the city and why it was so happening on a tuesday, it was Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras. I thought it was just a New Orleans celebration.

After a few more drinks I was no longer an observer, I was a part of a large group at the bar. I was encourage to earn some beads. I was shocked to discover the effect the whisky had on me. I'm not talking about my inhibitions or motor skills. I'm talking about the stack to dimes I was exposing to earn beads.I've seen shrinkage from the ocean but I had never noticed it from alcohol before. I was embarrassed. The pain I was in the next day was much worse though. Whisky when mixed with 7up lies about it's alcohol content.

My next trip to Portland a year later I meet sisyphus238 for the first time and we went for drinks at Scandals. We went again this trip as well. It's new space is really nice. I went every night for at least one drink. On tuesday sisyphus238 was busy so I went by myself, ordered a drink for the bar and sat where I could see everyone. It wasn't busy this time and I only stayed for one drink. I just watched, I saw the gentleman who I meet on my first trip to portland but didn't talk to him. On our first meeting he kept trying to convince me that I should bottom for him, which wasn't going to happen. I realized that while I like going to bars I like the company in a bar better. I'm not interested in picking someone up or leading anyone on. I just want a nice drink and good conversation.

Thank you Brian! You made this trip just as enjoyable as the past ones. The conversation is always great and despite what you think, your stories are very interesting. I still want to write some story about the shanghai tunnels.

Last friday I had nothing to do, I knew that wouldn't be the case today but man, today is crazy! my coworker is out so, I'm covering our office by myself. Also our Portland IT guy has caught something awful and is going to be out for quite some time. I have to cover his office remotely today and fly up to PDX tomorrow. sisyphus238 interested in dinner on Wednesday?

As promised behind the cut are the scans of the slides I was working on in school that my teacher scolded me for. I know I look a lot like my dad but I don't think I was nearly as attractive as he was. I think I did d really good job of repairing the scratches and crap that was on the slides. I kind of think it should be a project all photographers have to do. Destroy a slide and then fix it in photoshop.

( Beware of shirtless dadio. )

The end is near. I don’t have any work to do. Literally, nothing! If my books on Sharepoint I ordered from CDW in the beginning of April would have arrived at least I could have done some work reading. I have never had nothing to do at work. I feel guilty spending this much time playing on the net. It is nice to have time to reply to comments. I was looking for the picture of my dad that I scanned at school but I looks like I don’t have it on the webs anywhere. I’ll try to post it when I Monday. I know almost nobody read over the weekend and I’m curious to see what comments I get from the photo.

Any questions? I’m board and have time to answer. I think this is my first ASK me anything Friday!

I’m almost finished with the Invisalign teeth straightening. I’ve been very surprised how easy and pleasant it’s been. I’m going to miss it once I’m all done. Don’t believe me, let me tell you about my appointment on Thursday. Doctor Wolfee (not the actual spelling of his name but phonetic spelling) greeted me with his stunning smile which is beautifully offset by his golden brown five o’clock shadow. He immediately starts to get me into a position for him to adequately examine me. He starts by grabbing my face with both hands and staring intently at my mouth. If I didn’t know better I would say he was going to pull me into a kiss. I get a chance to watch is green eyes glimmer as they dart back and fourth. He’s happy with what he sees, not it’s time to get down to business.

Doctor Wolfee is very thorough in getting his patients into the optimum position for what he wants to do to them. I like to think he has a favorite position to put me in. He starts by reclining the chair all the way back but I know It’s going to go further. Soon my feet are way above my head and his hands are gently and firmly grasping my temples to position my head just perfectly. He’s standing and I can’t help but stare at his crotch and think, “this would be a really great position for...“, when he says, “That’s how I want you.” I wonder if I went flush. I just wanted him to repeat that sentence to me a few more times, but he sat down and started to work and I thought about how my pants felt a little smaller.

I’m meeting the Ex for lunch today. I have to admit I have some mixed feelings: anxiety, curiosity, hope, and apprehension. Every time I see Randy he drops some bit of news on me that has some sort of effect on me. Whether it’s that he isn’t speaking to his mother, dating a barely legal guy, or moved out of his family’s apartment and into a residence hotel; He always tells me something that makes me wonder what has happened to him.

When we first met, he lived with his mother in a studio apartment. But within a month of meeting him he had moved out into a house on Mt. Davidson, bought a car and was focused on working towards a future. Randy was always thinking five steps ahead and it drove me mad. He made plans for us to live on a sailboat despite the fact that I was adamantly against that idea. He complained that I spent my money foolishly...like paying off his student loans. But he was always looking to and heading to the future.

When we broke up I was like a phoenix engulfed in flames. I burned everything I was away and recreated myself. I got a new job, moved out and started to make friends that were mine instead of his. I started to build myself up and grow back my sense of confidence and self worth. He seamed unaffected and for quite a while he acted as if I was just going away for a few days. Eventually he cracked and started to let his bitter feelings towards me show and we lost track of each other. Years later I would learn he lost his apartment and job. He gave most of his belongings away and moved back in to his mother’s studio apartment. I would say he was back where he was when I met him but he had a good job when I met him.

He has shown no sign of anything other than dreaming about improvement. No steps towards that 5th step. It makes me sad that he can’t seem to move forward without someone to inspire him to move. If he met some nice 30-50 something I would be ecstatic, but I will just be thankful that there hasn’t been too many young men pulled into his warped power dynamic.

I wonder what he’ll tell me today. I wonder what he will think of all my gray hairs. I wonder if he will ever improve his life for himself.

Tax day thought.
I can’t believe I had to write checks to State and Fed that totaled half the amount my parents paid for their home... and I claim zero.

I like art. I really like art that is new and smART. While I was in Paris I discovered this amazing Artist who paints portraits while riding the Metro and uses his ticket as his canvas. He decided to paint wherever you aren’t supposed to paint, even the shower. I can’t imagine that was as successful as his metro tickets. He has learned to cope with the jostling of the train and capturing his subjects on such tiny canvases, think of a business card cut into five pieces. There's a small article about him here. This is his site. And I put a few behind ( the Cut. )

Pictures from my trip here:

http://gallery.mac.com/macboysf#100119&sel=0

Page one:
John (my 20 Y/O cat), Tom and Alex, et_blackbird, doll people, and the Statues of Liberty France.

Page two:
sights of Paris

Page Three:
Tom and Greg (Iggy's Dad), London Sights, adventure with the Doctor, Who?

Page Four:
More from whoniverse, Daniella and qnational,The Dilettantes, Phinny and Andrea.

... and all I saw was people waiting. grrr. I can't believe it was all a ploy to keep the people who wanted to see the torch in person... from seeing it. B*st*rds!

http://www.nbc11.com/videostream/11441536/detail.html

When I was a kid I would bury my neighbor Kirsten’s Barbie doll in the mud or grass. I had no interest in it, it was boring. My Star Wars action figures however were cool because Han Solo and Boba Fett just are cool as any boy in the 70's would tell you. But I didn’t really play with them that much. I preferred to play with Legos and other building materials. I grew up with zero interest in dolls. The same cannot be said for Tom. He grew up with three older sisters all of whom had old doll for him to play with. So when what he wanted for Christmas one year he responded that he wanted the Linda Carter Wonder Woman doll. Do you think his parents had any warning he was going to be gay?

When we started dating and we were heading to his place for the first time he had to warn me so I would be shocked by the site of all his dolls staring at me. It wasn’t something that was easy for my mind to grasp when he was telling me. Here is this butch man with a shaved head and rocker style telling me he has a wall of Barbie dolls. I didn’t get it. When we moved in together he was confused by repulsion to his collection. I would refuse to touch them. I think for a while he thought I was scared the dolls would affect my masculinity but in reality I remembered being a bugger picking child and have no desire to touch an old doll that may have been buried in dog poo. I didn’t have much of a problem with the new dolls but the used one are not to be touched by me.

My attitude started to warm for Tom’s collection when I started to reap the benefits from them. You all know I take many trips to London and Paris and most of them have been funded by attending the Paris Doll Festival. Once a doll take you across the Atlantic you can’t really give the cold shoulder.

When Tom and I first started to go to Paris he would attend the convention and I would explore the Louve. It worked well for me. But as the years progressed I have started to attend parts of the events with him. It started as morbid curiosity. What do these adults who collect dolls look like. I would hear stories like the excentric dominatrix who was working on a man who had a heart attack during one of their sessions. Instead of calling an ambulance she slapped him about the face. When that didn’t work she went home. Later the police came by to ask her some questions in the station. She turned to her gay roommate and said, “Gary, fetch me my silver fox” Isn’t that an episode of Will and Grace you would’ve like to seen?

The Language barrier is also quite amusing. I love to watch the head Parisian principal hit on a famous NYC Fossie choreographer because he obsessed with all things Gene (a type of doll) and the poor unwitting choreographer is named Gene. He gets flustered as why this man who he can’t understand is always touching him and saying his name. I love Gene.

There are always very weird clique which make me think of high school. My favorite is the Sybarite clique that is composed of stylish, meticulously groomed, precise queens. Any of them would look at home among the most plucked of the project runway queens. Whenever I talked to one of them, I always feel like I am being granted audience with royalty to keep the masses happy. Being a non-doll person I really don’t care about what anyone collects. I think I offend them with my unkempt facial hair. I’m sure if I sculpted, quaffed, and used lots of products I would be welcomed. No Thank you, please drive around. It’s so odd to think there is a doll collector caste system

Of course what convention would be complete without some sort of runway show? Definitely not a doll convention. The show normally lasts about half an hour of men, women and children dressed as their favorite doll outfits. The drag outfits are wonderful. There’s something about drag when it’s done not for laughs or necessity, but done for love of a doll. Nothing will ever make me feel more normal than attending a doll convention... And I really think I am a freak.

This week:
• A coworker joked that Mac and PC from the Apple ads were based on Paul and I. I had never noticed all the similarities before.
• Someone left a hotel key for the Millennium Resort in Scottsdale Arizona on my desk. It's a ways to go for a booty call, but I might make and exception if it was left by bender772 and richie73.
• I found out we have to rip the back of the house all up. The windows were installed incorrectly (without flashing) and allow water into the walls. We found out about this because of the mysterious skylight that destroyed the siding when it flew into our back yard. Favorite quote asked in seriousness, "Do you think it came from a space ship?" I think someone needs to go back to school.
• I'm almost finished with Season 2 of Six Feet Under, I see a very scary similarity between Keith & David and Tom & I. I swear we had one their arguments almost word for word a few weeks ago.
• I loved watching Kirsten's relationship with Nicholas Brendon bloom this week on Criminal Minds. I still get flustered that one of my friends is on TV with someone from Buffy! I'll have to see if Kirsten can introduce me to Nicholas... I hope he's as wonderful in person as Tom Lenk.
• I got my ticket queue down to three tickets. I don't think that has ever happened.
• I was asked to play an IT guy for PC.com but thankfully they decided to go with someone less San Francisco. I am not, nor do I want to be an actor.
• I'm interested to see the protests durring the San Francisco Olympic Torch Run on Monday. I can only imagine what would have happened if they had it run through Chinatown. That would have been a disaster of joyousness.

Last week I got a phone call from our former “marchFIRST” receptionist Jae. He was sacked one day back in 2000 after he had a interesting interaction with Steve Jobs and discovered our accounts payable department wasn’t even bothering to issue checks they knew would bounce. We all agree pissing off Steve wasn’t the reason he was shoved out the door. Jae couldn’t believe I still worked here. “Do you realize you’ve been there almost a decade... I don’t even like using the word decade... It makes me feel old.” Um... Yeah.

The one good thing about being with a company for such a long time is vacation. I get 5 whole weeks every year. Last year I was only able to take 2 weeks because it was that busy and horrible. I was on the verge of losing my time off so I have been using a lot up the past two months. Three weeks after I returned from Mexico I boarded a Virgin Atlantic plane headed for Heathrow. There was some sort of malfunction with there TV system and when you selected a movie it was a gamble what you got. I started to search through movies I wanted to see only to find something I wasn’t interested in popping up. By far the most interesting one was when Bee Movie was selected from the Kids section... I starts zoomed in on a totally nude raunchy sex scene with Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Tom and I have quite a few friends in London but we like to stay in hotels so we aren’t on our hosts couches or schedules. Our favorite hotels were all unavailable this time. Hyde Park West is being turned into condos... But even after two years it looks like no work has been done. So we decided to try out some new hotels. I found two hotels near Bayswater that looked like they were value for money. The locations was definitely really great, so I booked them for our two segments in London. When we arrived at the first hotel I notices the run down hostile across the street and was worried. When we walked though the main door of our hotel I sighed in relief that it was actually ok. However when I walked into our closet... I mean room, I was not pleased. It was small the double bed was actually a full twin. We did not sleep well as the twin also had that wonderful sag that pulls anything on the bed to the center. Lovely. In the future I may put huge amounts of blame on this room.

The lift in the Hotel was so small that when Derek came to visit his wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the elevator, and he has a really small chair. It was so wonderful to see Derek. There really isn’t a substitute for the sound of the voice in person or the warmth of a hug. I think Derek was the only thing that kept Tom and I from suffering from rats in a small cage syndrome. Derek only had a little over 24 hours to spend with us but we managed visit the Mike’s Café, the millennium bridge, Tate Modern, and Shop Oxford street as well as a few other fun places. After dropping Derek off at Liverpool Station we didn’t have much time before we left for Paris.

I really think my posts are better when they are small and have a point... So I’m going to end this now... But my next post will hopefully be interesting. Paris Fashion Doll Festival... Think “Best in show” but with Dolls instead of Dogs... Seriously.